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Did Jeffrey Epstein Fake His Own Death?

We've delved into a lot of conspiracy theories over the years, so when the purported suicide of uber-wealthy financier Jeffrey Epstein broke on Saturday morning we contemplated weighing in on the issue, but held off for a number of reasons... the most obvious being that, well, it was just too easy.

Whether you're a Democrat, Republican, Communist, Libertarian-- or something in between-- there's a pretty good chance you have your own suspicions about what happened inside Epstein's cell at the Metropolitan Correctional Center in New York. Also, we're really not big fans of being demonetized by Google (again) for expressing our controversial opinions (Sandy Hook, anyone?). The last time Google Almighty smote us, our revenue stream went from Niagara Falls to the feeble urination of a man with a prostate the size of Chris "Fredo" Cuomo's temper. But we digress.

While most conspiracy theorists are debating whether Epstein was murdered by a pro-Clinton or pr…

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